With nothing better to do, we offer to our lurking public the first in a hopefully un-repeated tradition of award shows! You’ve heard of the Oscars, the Emmys, the “Sheepies,” even the “Razzies!” In sordid contrast, hailing the worst the internet has to offer…drum roll, please…
THE FISCHIES!

Category 1
Most annoying feature in on-line RPG gaming
The Fischie goes to-
That’s right, folks! Our wonderful anime-inspired friends at AQ get the dead fisch stare for their “drum roll and lightning” feature that informs free users that the server is too full for them to use. How sad. Keep in mind, for $20 you can be a “guardian,” and never hear these most annoying “join up” sound effects ever again. I personally like to click the refresh button about 60 times to get in, watching the “players online” tally shrink anywhere from 20 to 5,000 at a swat. But, they say there’s no room! Hmmm. Or should we say with Homer Simpson, “Mmmmmm….cheesy!”

Category 2
Most annoying Advertisement in a web service
The Fischie goes to:
Actually, It’s a TIE!
We at Fischie Central were just going to out and out give the award to our friends at MSN for – well- being so deserving! The interactive pop-up ad for a toenail fungus treatment was the, er, low point that sealed the deal. (Sorry msn. You don’ get no piccy, because you don’ let people copy your piccy. So there.)
But then the staff remembered another worthy site!
An old favorite, really:


Yes! Our friends at this supposedly Christian website is soo aggressive about pop-ups, you don’t even get on the page before your popup blocker starts ringing like a fire bell in the night! Then they offer you a version of their page without pop-ups, for $5.00 a month! Eh? What’s that? Extortion is a Christian virtue? Hmm.

Category 3
Most wonderfully awful web cartoon page
Hands down: Happy Tree Friends! http://happytreefriends.atomfilms.com/ (We were going to post a pic from the site, but something unfortunate happened to our last Fischie Awards staff intern that tried to do it. Really just an accident, but we're playing it safe.) Cute li’l forest creatures that come to a bad (but really funny) end! Biggmann’s son put me wise to this sick, twisted masterpiece of animation. Put all the sharp objects away before viewing.

Category 4
Most noble lost cause on the internet
HojoLand.Com. Yes! There are still people watching the life support systems of the once-popular restaurant chain. It felt like a wake when the landlord sold out and demolished the Hojo on Times Square. I can’t decide if that or the link to Howard Johnson’s frozen food sideline is the more pathetically sad. The best part of the site is where people send in pics of “ghosts:” old Hojos used for other purposes. Give it up people. The days of orange roofs and bad meatloaf are over. Way over.

Category 5
Most innovative site
No question about it: AlbinoBlackSheep.com has been delighting web artists and hangers-on for a long time with entertaining, provocative and just rockin’ good flash movies. They also have done the ‘net a service by showing up, lampooning and otherwise making a fool of ebaum’sworld.com- one of the nastiest plagiarizers on the web. Nicely done, ABS!

Well, that's it for this year's Fischie awards! Check 'em out! I'll be here all week! Try the veal!

-The Big Fisch